


Someday With You

by YearsAndDays



Series: Step Into Christmas [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers Tower, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Christmas, Idiots in Love, M/M, Oblivious Clint Barton, Protectiveness, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-08-28 20:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16730436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YearsAndDays/pseuds/YearsAndDays
Summary: Bucky Barnes is one of the most annoying people Clint knows, until he isn't anymore.-Natasha looks up from her coffee. "So," she says. "Are you guys dating?"Her question almost makes Clint spit out his own. "Wait, what? No! What makes you think that?"She throws him a look, raising her eyebrows pointedly. Clint's eyes widen. "Oh."





	Someday With You

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of sleeping. I'm sorry. 
> 
> NOT EDITED! (I will probably add some things later on)
> 
> Enjoy!

Bucky Barnes is one of the most annoying people Clint knows, and he is friends with Tony, which says a lot.

It’s not that he’s practically irritating, he’s just an asshole among many, but there is just something about him that strikes a nerve within Clint. Maybe it’s how he keeps showing up everywhere he goes, a snarky remark and smirk in place. Or maybe it’s the way he beat him at darts once, which shouldn’t even count, as Clint was drunk that time. The rest of the Avengers, his friends, liked to pretend otherwise though. Those traitors! Or it’s how Bucky always steals his things. It could be all from a cup of coffee he’d made for himself to a half finished pizza slice or his clothes. Clint had more than once caught Bucky wearing one of his hoodies. The things he keeps stealing might not be important things, but they were Clint’s not-so-important-things! _His_!

Either way, all these thing together it makes Bucky Barnes the worst one out of the bunch that Clint was currently sitting beside in the middle of what Tony had deemed movie night. Really, it was just an ordinary Tuesday, but a few months ago Tony had changed it to educate their two super-soldiers, who had missed a few decades worth of great films.

Usually, Clint enjoyed the repeated occurrence but this Tuesday had already started like shit and had continued similarly. All he wanted to do now was to go home to his shitty little apartment, cuddle the hell out of his dog and go to sleep.

But tonight it was Nat’s turn to pick movie, and she’d dragged Clint back to the tower, ignoring his loud protests. The worst thing was that the movie she’d chosen wasn’t even that good, just some cheesy classic to annoy Tony with, who were complaining loudly from the arm rest. But he didn’t seem to bothered as he was still here, hand in hand with Steve, looking overall pleased with himself.

On the other side of Steve was Nat seated, but she’d just left to get more snacks from the kitchen, leaving a gap in the couch which made Clint question why he didn’t move and steal her spot, as he was currently sitting beside the winter soldier himself, Bucky Barnes. To his defense, the spot beside Bucky had been the only one left open, with Bruce on the floor and Wanda along with Vision on the bean bags. But before he can make up his mind and move, she returns with a bowl of popcorn, pushing his legs of the couch. “Move.” He rolls his eyes but does, ending up even closer to the other man than before. But Clint’s too tired to care.

Clint is all but focused on the movie and about to finally fall asleep when a hand is placed on his shoulder, jerking him back to reality. Brows furrowed, Clint turns his head, coming eye to eye with a concerned looking Bucky. He blinks. Concern? No, he must be crazy, or sleep deprived. Or maybe a little bit of both. “What?” he mumbles, turning his gaze back to the tv, ignoring Bucky’s stare.

“You okay?”

Oh, fuck, that’s definitely sound like concern and now Clint knows he’s going mad. It’s not that he hasn’t seen concerned Bucky before, but that’s only been with Steve, and a few rare times with Wanda, but never anyone else. Clint doesn’t know what to do with that. Being on the receiving end of it. “Yes?” he replies hesitantly, deciding to ignore the man’s strange behavior. “I’m just tired, man. It’s been a long day.”

Bucky stares at him for a few more moments, before he nods, seemingly accepting his answer, and looks back to the giant screen.

The weird conversation between him and Bucky makes Clint sober up, as questions and doubts rise in his mind. He tries to let them go, and shifts his focus back on the movie.

-

When Clint wakes up the next morning, he’s in a room that is definitely not his with no memory of how he got there. The last thing he remembers is watching the movie, and then nothing… He must have fallen asleep. Frowning, Clint frowns the sheets aside and stands up. He’s wearing the same clothes as before, so he quietly slips out of the room to find his own quarters.

Because like everyone else, he received a few rooms, but he’s got his own apartment and has barely used them. Still, he keeps a few changes of clothes there and a few other things, which makes it even more annoying when Bucky keeps “borrowing” it.

Clint shrugs out of his clothes and takes a shower before stepping into a clean pair of sweatpants, puts on a tee and a hoodie he found thrown behind a chair.

When he gets to the kitchen it’s empty, but at least somebody has been smart enough to make coffee so Clint’s not complaining. He grabs mugg, fills it to the brim and sits down, enjoying the smell of the liquid about to make his day.

“Goodmorning, Clint. Slept well?”

Leaning his head back, Clint glances at his friend who has just entered the kitchen, smirk a few notches too smug, as if she knows something he doesn’t. But it’s too damn early, so Clint just narrows his eyes and takes another sip of his coffee, not raising to her bait. “Well, yes, thanks for asking.”

The corner of her mouth twitches as she also takes a cup, as the archer watches her with suspicion. Natasha takes it with grace and only smiles a little at his sour look, joining him at the table. Person after person tricks in, joining them for breakfast and Clint notes how Natasha’s eyes keeps checking on who’s arriving, as if she’s searching for someone. He’s about to ask her who, but then Tony walks into the room, Bruce hot on his heel, a donut box in his hand. Immediately, Clint perks up, and so does everyone else. The only one who seems to be uninterested is Bucky, who just keeps drinking his coffee and reading his book.

“Someone hungry?” Tony smiles, dropping the box on the table. Clint pounces the moment it hits the flat surface and takes the pink glazed donut before anyone else can. Quickly, he takes a big bite out of it, moaning loudly at the rich flavor. Sam, who’s just returned from his mission flares while Wanda throws him an amused look, but Clint’s gaze follow Natasha, who smiles and makes her way over to Bruce, who’s pouring himself a glass of water.  

Without saying a word, she hands her phone to him. Brows furrowed, he takes it and almost chokes on his water as he sees what’s on it. Bruce coughs a couple of times, before his eyes dart over to Clint, then Bucky and then back to Natasha. He chuckles lightly. “Is this what happens on movie night?”

“Not usually, but I think we’ll see more of it from now on.”

Clint has a bad feeling of this, but before he can do anything about it, Tony is there, plucking the phone out of Bruce’s hand. “Thank you.” He takes one look at the screen, then throws his head back and laughs. “This is priceless!” When he’s done, wiping a tear, he passes the phone on to Wanda who smiles calmly, saying. “I think they’re cute.”  

“Well, that’s a word to describe it.”

Okay, Clint’s had enough. Before Wanda can hand it to Sam, who looks all too eager, Clint snatches the phone from her. The phone is unlocked and the gallery is open. Eyes still focused on the screen, Clint starts to speak. “What am I supposed t-” That’s when he recognizes himself on one of the pictures. He clicks on it. “Oh.” It’s from last night, and he’s not the only one in the photo. Bucky is in their two, awkwardly staring to the side, as if avoiding the camera while Clint was completely in frame, asleep and leaning against the taller man, head on his shoulder.

Taking it in a stride, Clint smiles brightly, directing it toward Wanda. “I would call myself handsome, but I’ll take it.” Making her laugh.

“Nope. Cute is the word for it.”

Clint turns around in his chair and throws the super-soldier a glare. Bucky had left his book and stood behind Clint now, peering over his shoulder. Huffing, Clint closes the phone and throws it back to Natasha, who easily catches it. “You’re just jealous.”

In return, Bucky raises a brow and Natasha clears her throat. “That’s not how you talk to the guy who carried you to bed last night.”

Tony laughs loudly. “You’re not getting out of this one, lover boy!” “Tony!” Steve scolds, but Tony only pouts.

Opening his mouth to speak, Clint is interrupted by the one and only winter soldier. “You were there? I didn’t see you.” At that Natasha only smiles mysteriously, answering, “I have my ways.”

Bucky scowls, muttering, “That’s not very helpful.”

Silently, Clint realizes that the room he’d woken up in most have been Bucky’s. Meeting the other’s eyes for a second he murmurs a quick “Thanks”, not to alert the other Avengers and to that Bucky just nods. Clint feels slightly guilty for taking his room, as he probably didn’t know were Clint’s where, but that feeling goes away the minute he recognizes what Bucky’s wearing. “That shirt’s mine!”

Bucky’s expression immediately becomes one of satisfaction as he moves over to the zink, pouring himself another cup of coffee. “Maybe.”

Ignoring Sam’s and Tony’s laugh, along with Wanda’s cooing, Clint sends him one last glare before going back to his donut. But when he looks back at the table, it’s gone. He frowns down at his empty plate. “Aww, donut.”

Then he notes how the donut Bucky is holding is holding his missing donut. And it’s on again. “Hey!” Clint yells, but the super-soldier just smirks again, taking a big bite.

-

Time for revenge.

Now when he knows where Bucky’s room is, he takes full advantage of it. So, one day when he’s staying at the tower, Clint sneaks through the vents to Bucky’s room, waits for him to leave and then gets down, and steals the first recognizable tee he can find from the closet. Then, when he’s done, he takes the same way out.

For some reason, Clint is nervous to follow up with his plan to annoy Bucky, but after a few days of waiting, he puts it on and leaves his apartment. He’s left Lucky with Kate for the weekend, so everything should be fine.

He steps out of the elevator, greeted by the cool voice of Friday, before he makes his way into the kitchen. Steve is making dinner with the help of Bucky, and then they have plans for a movie night, even if it’s not Tuesday.

Steve smiles at him, only sparing his clothes a fleeting glance. “Hello, Clint. You’ve not been here for a few days, everything okay?”

“Yeah everything’s okay,” he begins. At hearing his voice, Bucky turns to him too. Clint can see how his eyes shifts to his shirt and then back, but he just goes back to what he was doing before, as if he didn’t just see Clint stealing his tee. “Just needed to spend a few days with Lucky, he misses me when I’m here to much and honestly, I miss him too.”

“Lucky?” This time it’s not Steve who asks, but Bucky, and his voice is startlingly serious. Clint pays it no mind, stealing a piece of the cooked chicken in the pot. “My dog.”

“I didn’t know you have a dog.” Steve says, throwing Bucky a strange look, which the archer picks up on but he decides against asking. “Not many does.” Feeling like an intruder in this silent conversation, Clint heads towards the living room, but before he leaves, Bucky throws him one last comment. “Nice shirt!”

Clint can’t stop smiling for the rest of the evening.

-

He does it again, and again, but nothing more happens. No more comments. He doesn’t even react! Clint tries not to be too disappointed.

The first time he acknowledges it beyond that first time, is when Clint doesn’t even mean to do it.

It’s Sunday and Clint’s staying at the tower again. He’s had a rough day, so when he finally gets back it’s of course one of _those_ nights. Because sure, he falls asleep just fine, but it’s not long before he’s awake again, drenched in sweat, images of blue and _him_ , haunting his mind.

Clint tosses and turns for a while, but he’s too worked up to go back to sleep, so he gets up, pushing the sheets aside. Shivering in the cold, he reaches for the closest tee and quickly pulls it on. Finding pants is harder, so Clint asks Friday to turn on the lights. Finally, he finds a pair under a pile of jackets, puts them on and with a yawn, makes his way to the kitchen. It’s over 3 am, so no one is up yet, but Clint doesn’t mind being by himself.

The kitchen is dark and silent, but Clint doesn’t turn the lights on as he enters and start rummaging the cabinets for a glass. It’s harder in the dark, but soon enough he finds one and pours himself a glass of water. Before he drinks it, Clint presses the cold glass to his forehead, then both cheeks, using the cold as a proof to that he’s back and in control. It also calms hi nerves.

Sighing, Clint takes a sip, consteplating going back to his room and try to go back to sleep, or go and watch some nightly runs of some trash tv. In the end. he chooses neither. Because before he can do anything, Bucky steps out of the shadows. “Can’t sleep?”

At least, Clint manages to keep some part of his dignity, and doesn’t flinch. Too much. If Bucky notices, he doesn’t say anything about it. He’s tired and doesn’t feel like being that big of an asshole, so he says how it is. “Nightmares.” The look Bucky sends him isn’t one of pity, but understanding and a corner of Clint’s mouth turns slightly upward. “What about you?”

Instead of answering, Bucky’s eyes travels downward and the archer can practically see as they light up. “You’re wearing my shirt.”

Clint blinks, glancing down at himself. To his surprise, Bucky’s right. He is wearing the other man’s shirt. “So I am.”

It’s quiet for a moment before Bucky’s smile turn into a smirk, his brow raised. “Your dedication is outstanding, I mean, the vents, seriously?” Surprised, Clint let’s out a startled laugh. He rubs the bag of his head, replying. “You know about that, huh?”

Bucky nods, seemingly more at ease than before. “I noticed you… wearing my stuff, and well, one day I hid in my room and waited until you arrived.”

“Do I wanna know where you hid, _or_ how long you were there for?” Clint asks, bemused.

“No comment.”

Clint starts laughing while Buddy stands quiet in the dark kitchen. For a moment, he thinks he offended the super soldier, but then he catches sight of teeth and realize Bucky’s smiling. “You never told me how you stole mine.” At that, Bucky just laughs. “I won’t reveal my ways. But I promise you, they are not as glamorous as yours.”

They continue to talk, and for a while, Clint forget’s why he finds Bucky annoying again. It’s nearly sunrise, and surprisingly, Clint doesn’t want their conversation to end, but it has to. When the first voices are heard, Bucky waves him goodbye and quietly slips away. Clint is still staring after him when Sam and Steve enters the kitchen. “Cap - I think Barton’s broken.”

Clint just glares.

-

It’s not the last nightmare he has, and when he’s at the tower, Clint spends more than one sleepless night with Bucky.

They always avoid the topic of nightly terrors, but otherwise they talk about most things. At one point Clint even brings up the circus, and his brother, and he’s just as surprised as Bucky is when it slips out. It’s like a barrier has been crossed and after that they don’t stray away from anything.

It is soon morning one Thursday, a few weeks after their nightly meetups has started, and yet again Clint doesn’t want the night to end. He’s warmed up to Bucky and has found that he enjoys his company more and more.

So before either one of them can leave, or they’re interrupted, Clint comes up with something. His stomach turns upside down and he frowns. Why does he feel nervous all of a sudden? Cint tries to shake it off, and turns back to Bucky, who’s staring at him with one of those expressions that’s hard to read. It can mean anything really.

Before he loses his nerve, he asks, “Wanna take a walk? My apartment's close by.” For a moment, Bucky’s expression is a startled one, but slowly, it turns to a small smile. He nods. “Yeah, sure. I’d like that.”

Clint grins and takes his hand, dragging him along. “Come on then.”

-

The second they arrive at his door, and Clint’s fumbling for his keys, he realizes how much of a weird situation this is. But before he can analyse it too much, he unlocks the door and opens it. Mockingly, he bows. “Welcome.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, but walks past him into the apartment. They take off their shoes and hangs their jackets by the door, and Clint warily watches Bucky as he looks around the messy space he calls home. The first thing he asks is, “Where’s the dog?” Which almost makes Clint choke on air, he’d forgotten Bucky knew about him. “Lucky’s at a friend’s place. I make her watch him when I’m too busy. And don’t look at me, she loves him!”

“Sure.”

“What? I’m serious!”

After that, Clint doesn’t feel as tense anymore. Even Bucky seems to relax slightly. They sit down on the couch and talk a while longer, but it’s not long until the sleepiness gets to them. When Bucky suddenly, mid sentences, yawns, he startles both Clint and himself. With a chuckle, the archer stands. “Come on, I think it’s time we both get some sleep.” Bucky doesn’t protest.

Clint shows him his bedroom, throws him a shirt and a pair of loose sweatpants that he’ll probably fit in. Taking off his shirt, Clint glances over his shoulder at Bucky who is doing the same. He tries not to stare, but it’s hard and finally Clint just looks away, clearing his throat. “Is it okay if we share a bed? The couch a bitch to sleep on.”

When Bucky doesn’t reply, Clint turns around, concerned. “Everything alright?” WIthout meeting his eyes, Bucky murmurs, “I can take the couch.” It makes Clint frown, but he nods, respecting the other’s decision, if it’s what he wants.

“Okay, well, goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” he mumbles, and with a sad look on his face, he makes to leave, but Clint stops him. “Is there a reason why?”

Bucky doesn’t answer right away, so Clint continues. “I mean you don’t have to answer, but-” “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Blinking, Clint stares at the super-soldier. “What?” he asks, even though he heard him just fine. Bucky makes a pained sound, but repeats himself. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I trust you.”

The look he receives for that is one of surprise and doubt, but the archer waves it off. It’s true after all. “Besides, I have a mean right hook.” Bucky smiles weakly, which Clint takes as a win. “Get over here.”

Slowly, as if Clint will run if he moves any quicker, Bucky makes his way over to the bed. Flashing the other a smile, Clint makes room for Bucky. As if ripping of a bandaid, he quickly slips under the covers, careful to keep to his side. Not to leave Bucky to his thoughts, Clint is quick to ask, “Should I set an alarm?” In which Bucky shakes his head to. “I usually never stay asleep for that long, it’ll be fine. I’ll wake you in a few hours?” Clint shrugs. “Sounds good.”

They lay under the covers, beside each other, shoulder to shoulder in silence, Clint’s about to doze off when Bucky speaks again. He isn’t looking at Clint as he speaks, but it’s not like it could be directed to anyone else.

“I have nightmares too.”

Clint moves around, so that he’s laying on his side and facing Bucky. He doesn’t want to push, but after a while he asks, “Is is about the memories. From the Winter Soldier?”

Instead of replying, Bucky just nods.

Clearing his throat, Clint turns his gaze to the wall. “I don’t know what Steve told you about the battle of New York, and my part in it.” Bucky doesn’t answer, but Clint can feel his eyes on him as he acts as silent support, to which Clint is grateful. He tells Bucky about Loki, how an ordinary mission turned into so much more and how the god of mischief took control of him with the tesseract. He never goes into detail about he did during those days, but Clint’s got a feeling Bucky understands.

“And if you ever need to talk… I’m here.”

Bucky doesn’t reply this time either, but it’s not like he expected him to. But he shifts closer, and their fingers brush. Clint expects Bucky to flinch, pull away, or maybe both, but he stays still, and so does the archer. In the dark, Clint smiles.

-

The next morning, or the same evening really, Clint is woken by the sound of his phone and groans into his pillows. Beside him, someone moves. At first, Clint doesn't think much of it, but when a hot breath caresses his neck and a sleepy voice says, “Are you going to answer that?”

Jerking awake, Clint sends Bucky a glare before scrambling for his phone. Quickly, he answers without checking the ID: “‘ello?”

“Hello, Clint. It’s Steve. Sorry, did I wake you?”

Sitting up properly, Clint yawns. “It’s fine, Steve. Were there something you wanted?”

“Oh, yeah.” Steve’s voice turns serious again. “Have you seen Bucky? I haven’t seen him all day and Friday said he left this morning.”

Sneaking a look at the man in the bed beside him who’s silently watching him, Clint stiffles another yawn. “Oh, yeah. He’s with me.”

There’s a moment of silence. Then there’s a relieved sigh at the other end. “Thank god! He had me worried there for a second. Well, thanks Clint. And sorry for waking you. Will you guys come back tonight, or should we expect you tomorrow?”

Clint throws Bucky a look, but he just shrugs non helpfully. Rolling his eyes, Clint looks at the time on his phone. His eyes widen. Holding the phone away from his mouth, Clint says, “I’ll wake you up soon, my ass. It’s 8 o’clock.” Bucky’s eyes widen, but then his surprise turns into happiness. “I guess I just slept really well.

Remembering Steve, Clint turns back to the phone. “Tomorrow. See you then, bye.” He hangs up.

Bucky laughs. “Tomorrow, huh?”

“Oh, shut up!” Clint groans. “Let’s just go back to sleep.”

“I’m not sure I can do that, but sure.”

Clint smirks into his pillow. “You’ll manage.”

He doesn’t know it, but he’s right. Because within 40 minutes, they’re both fast asleep - and this time, Clint shuts off his phone.

-

The next few weeks, Clint continues spending more time at the tower than his own apartment. He’s lucky that Kate’s there and more happy than annoyed to be put on Lucky-watching-duty.

The times he’s actually there, most often when Kate’s out of town for the night, Bucky joins him. It quickly becomes a thing. _Their_ _thing_.

One Tuesday morning, when he’s actually at the tower and Bucky isn’t there - he’s out running with Sam and Steve - having breakfast with his favorite spy. They’re going to SHIELD later, but they food there is shit. Stark is many things, but he’s good at picking food that everyone likes.

Clint is refilling his cup again when Natasha catches is eye, before pausing, looking away again. Furrowing his brows, he takes a sip, but doesn’t ask. If she wants to know something she’ll speak up, that’s just Natasha for you. Natasha looks up from her coffee, expression neutral. “So,” she says. “Are you and Bucky dating?”

Her question comes out of nowhere - is this what she was wondering!? - and it almost makes Clint spit out his own heavenly drink. He coughs a few times, clutching the table. “Wait, what? No! What makes you think that?”

She throws him a look, raising both eyebrows pointedly. Clint’s eyes widen. “Oh.”

“Yes. “Oh”. You spend the majority of your time together, he knows about and sleeps over at your apartment, has met Lucky, and you wear each other’s clothes all the time. You’re literally wearing his shirt right now,” she says, making Clint look down at the slightly oversized tee he’s wearing, muttering, “It’s comfy” under his breath. Natasha ignores him, continuing, “And don’t think I don’t know about your late night conversations. Stark can’t keep a secret for shit.”

Clint is not sure he wants to know how Tony knows that, so he doesn’t ask and only stares at his friend, as her words sink in. He thinks back to their last weeks, and how that first night (day) sleeping in his apartment unlocked something, and how close they’ve been since. Just then, Bucky, Steve, and Sam enters after their run and as Bucky passes him, reaching out and briefly touching his shoulder as he walks by.

At first, Clint doesn’t think twice about it, but the look Natasha throws him makes him go rigid, realization hitting him. Because on top of everything else that has become their relationship, here’s also the casual touching that Bucky doesn’t do with anyone else except Steve and now him.

He tries to not let it get to him too much, but Natasha’s words stays with him over the next few days. But it keeps getting to him. Clint can no longer catch himself checking Bucky out or noticing how good the other man looks wearing Clint’s clothes, tight and well fitted on the taller man, without feeling bad or over analyzing it. Because even if Bucky know that what they’re doing is practically dating (without the benefits) and Clint’s more visible feelings, which Clint doubts he does, the other man doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into. Bucky deserves the world, and definately someone better than Clint.

This causes him to grow distant in Bucky’s company, and he’s no longer asking Bucky to join him when he leaves for the weekend, and the days he spends at the tower are becoming shorter and shorter. Bucky doesn’t seem to notice, acting the same way as always, and it both pains and pleases him. For one, it hurts that Bucky doesn’t care for Clint like Clint cares for him, but it also means that it’s working. He keeps Bucky’s sweaters though and wears them all the time when he’s alone in his apartment.

The others seem to notice though, as Natasha keeps glaring at him, Tony seems to be in a state of constantly facepalming and Steve seems to be both worried and in the mind for scolding, all while Bruce just looks sad. Clint does his best to ignore them all and after a few days he just can’t take it anymore. He stays away from the tower, keeping to himself and nearlying bars, blaming it on the snow, saying it’s too cold to come over in this weather. He’s not entirely sure Natasha believes him, but she hasn’t said anything about it, leaving Clint with silence.

It’s quiet on their end until he tells Fury that he’s thinking about the undercover mission in Sweden that he briefed him and Natasha on last week, which will take at least a few months to complete. Not even twenty minutes later, his phone goes off and when he checks, it’s a two word message from Natasha, simply stating, “Don’t go”.

Clint contemplates doing it anyway, but in the end he listens to her and stays put. It’s not until he checks his email, sorting through spam and business a few hours later that he realizes that it’s christmas in two days. That fact depresses him, but at least he has Lucky. He doesn’t feel the spirit of Christmas, but puts on the red hat.

He heats up the last of the pizza he ordered yesterday, feeds Lucky and it’s not until he spots one of Bucky’s shirts in the corner that he realizes just how much he misses the other man. How he steals his stuff, hogs the covers, and smiles that smile at him. The casual touches, the way he talks, even when he ignores Clint's attempts to get him back. 

So Clint walks over to the corner and carefully slips down to the floor, back against the wall, picking up the worn shirt. It’s one of Bucky’s favorites, and Clint hasn’t used it more than a few times as it’s most of the time on Bucky or in the laundry pile. But now, it’s not washed, and still smells like Bucky. It should be embarrassing, but Clint doesn’t care as he presses his face against the fabric, inhaling Bucky’s strong but nice scent. It calms him, and it’s not until the doorbell rings, jolting Clint awake that he realizes that he’d fallen asleep.

Groggily, still clutching the shirt, Clint gets to his feet and stumbles through the apartment to his front door, where the sound is coming from. The person on the other side seems persistent, so Clint doesn’t check who it is before opening it. It takes a beat of silence as he blinks rapidly until the archer realizes who’s on the other side even as they come face to face.

“Bucky,” he breathes out, clear as day hearing the relief in his voice. The other man doesn’t say anything in return, just stares at Clint in silence, barely blinking. Looking down, Clint leads the other man inside, closing the door behind him.

“Have I done something wrong? I can stop.” is the first thing out of Bucky’s mouth as Clint sinks down across from him and Clint blinks, again, suddenly at loss. “What? No.”

This makes Bucky frown. “But you’re avoiding me,” he states, voice sad. Guilt tears at Clint’s insides, making him clutch the tee tighter. “It’s not you, you’re not doing anything, I’m just…” Clint trails off, not sure how to finish the sentence or how to get his meaning through to the other man without telling him how he feels which will either scare him off, or be something he doesn’t deserve. Because Bucky deserves so much more than him.

“So it’s not because of my advances?”

“Advances?” Clint asks.

It’s Bucky’s turn to blink, confused. “I’m sorry, I thought my intentions were quite clear.”

“Intentions?” Clint repeats, probably making a complete fool out of himself.

Growling, Bucky’s eyes flash with emotions. “I like you. I thought I made that obvious. At least that’s what Steve said.”

Gasping, Clint replies, “You mean Cap figured it out before I did? I mean, I knew I like you both the chance that you felt something else was very possible. I mean, you’re you and I’m me and-” Cint felt himself staring to ramble, and thankfully Bucky stopped him by saying, “You like me?” Successfully shutting the archer up.

The lack of reply spoke for itself and suddenly wasn’t on the couch across from him anymore, but standing in front of him. Close, too close, looking down at Clint. “Then why did you run away?”

Clint was about to argue that he didn’t exactly “run away” but something in Bucky’s expression stopped him and he softened. “Because I like you. Either way, if you felt the same or not, you deserve something better. Not a lousy friend like me. I mean, I am messed up, can’t do anything right, I’m addicted to coffee, obsessed with annoying people, everyone-” Bucky presses a hand to his mouth, looking pained. “Stop it.”

He removes his hand and Clint doesn’t continue, staring up at the other man. “You can’t decide that, and if one of us deserves better it’s you. I’m messed up, can turn crazy at any given moment and have hurt so many people. Besides, perfect or not, you believe in me when even I don't. You are what I want. What I need. If anything you deserve someone better than me."

Clint shakes his head, reaching for Bucky’s hand. “Don’t think  about yourself that way, it wasn’t you, it them who controlled you. You had no choice about it.”

Smiling sadly, Bucky squeezes his hand. “I’ll stop when you stop,” he says simply, making Clint’s lips curve into a smile. Before he can say anything else, Bucky pulls him up and presses his lips against Clint’s. It’s all Clint has imagened and more, and it takes a while for them to part, now panting.

Somewhere along Clint’s hat fell of and Bucky reaches down to retrieve it, placing it back onto Clint’s head. “Really?”

Clint smiles cheekily, not resisting to kiss Bucky one more time, briefly this time. “Really.”

Then, Bucky glances down at the shirt still in Clint’s hands, raising a brow. “Missed me?” Making Clint blush, but before Bucky can see, he throws it in his face, stepping out of his embrace and starts off towards his bedroom, but not before huffing, muttering, “Not as much as you missed me.” Bucky just laughs.

Clint yawns. “It’s too goddamn late for this. I need sleep.”

It doesn’t take more than a moment before Bucky follows him.

-

They sleep in and have a morning filled with sleepy cuddles and coffee, before they walk Lucky, have a snowball fight and then more coffee. It’s not until two that Steve calls and asks if they want to come over, have a Christmas themes movie marathon and then have Christmas dinner, sleepover and gift exchange and so on.

When Bucky tells him about it, Clint curses. “I totally forgot about the gift part and have bought nothing.”

Bucky just stands up, stretching. “Let’s do some last minute christmas shopping then. I don’t think you’re the only one in New York who forgot.” But he’s not listening, because for a moment, Clint is transfixed, watching the fabric shift along Bucky’ chest and the shirt revealing the skin on his lower stomach. Laughing, the other man asks, “Like what you see?”

Without missing a beat, Clint quickly replies, “Yes. You should wear my clothes more often.” Because that shirt is definitely belongs to him. Not that he minds.

Bucky’s mouth stays open for a moment, surprise covering his features until it turns into a smile and he pulls the shorter man to him, wrapping his arms around him. Unconsciously, Clint snuggles into his warmth as Bucky chuckles briefly, placing a few kisses on the archer’s neck, making him shiver in delight. “So how about the shopping? Sounds good? We can leave for the tower right after.”

“Sure,” he replies, sending a smile Bucky’s way. But he can’t hide that he’s slightly nervous. Because yeah, he’s spent Christmas with the Avengers but this time, they feel more like a family then ever. Something Clint hasn’t had in a very long time. Not since his parents died and before he joined the Circus. He can’t even imagine what Bucky must be feeling then, this being his first with them after everything. Bucky pulls him impossibly closer. Whispering, “It’s going to be fine.” And for once, Clint let’s himself believe it.  

He stills thinks that he doesn’t deserve Bucky but hell if he’s not going to be better, the best version of Clint that there is, for Bucky but also for himself.


End file.
